A toxic workplace is not something you should have to deal with.
We’ve all had a time where we are going to hit our boiling point at work. There may be that one person in the office that really knows how to get under your skin. Keeping it professional is key but more importantly we need to get to the root of the problem.
Processing your anger is going to be the first step in dealing with this situation. If you tend to have a short fuse that’s something your aren’t going to want to let out in the work place. While anger is a normal feeling to have at times, inappropriate use of anger should not be tolerated.
Anger can be a really great gift if used correctly. Anger is a personal gauge that will tell you someone has crossed the line and that is going to have to be dealt with. Anger is a red flag of sorts, telling you that there’s work to be done with a person or a situation.
As a person communicating with others in the workplace, anger has a way of developing our boundaries and creating opportunities to fix a problem that may eventually turn into something bigger.
One question you can ask yourself when you are experiencing anger instead of coming out sideways is…
“What in specific crossed my boundary, that led me to get upset?”
This is not a conversation your going to have with someone who upset you, this going to be a conversation with yourself or someone you can trust. Using a sounding board to get these issues out is a good way to start a conversation with a superior. If you aren’t ready to bring it up to the person in charge then find a friend you can talk to, usually they will have a good perspective on how to move forward.
Most importantly you don’t want to target the person you’re upset with which could cause escalation, instead what I need to do is ask “What do I need to fix going forward.”
It may be difficult to not blow up in a fiery rage but as a professional you know that is not going end well. If a coworker sees you coming from a place of anger because you hit your boiling point they are most likely going to shut down. We can avoid all of that by taking a second, processing the situation, and possibly physically moving out of the situation.
Once you are out of your state of rage you can then come back to the problem with a focus on solutions.
A question you can start with while talking to another person is “What would need to exist for __________.” The blank being the solution to the problem. This way we’re focusing on the future, rather than going backwards in some sort of blame game.
Getting over the hurdle of opening up a conversation with your self or a coworker could be the difference between a constructive problem solving meeting and a passive aggressive toxic workplace. Working with other personality types in high stress environments is going to result in some clashing ideas. Being honest with yourself and others on how you’re feeling may just make the difference.
